It’s been months, maybe years since you last saw your ex. Your goodbye was bittersweet and when it was done you set forth on a journey to discover who you were again. You got in touch with old friends, and reignited all your old hobbies that you forgot about when you were in the relationship. Nowadays, you’re feeling to ready to see your ex because you really think you’re over the love aspect of the relationship and would like to pursue the prospect of being friends.

There are a few things you need to know before you dive right in and start seeing your ex again on a casual basis. Follow these rules, and you’re on your way to a strictly platonic friendship with an old flame:

Put the past in the past – By all means necessary, avoid discuss your history together as a couple. This means forgetting about the shared inside jokes or talking about something romantic that happened. You want to create a new relationship from now onwards and bringing up old times will create an awkward because both of you will be reminiscing.

Don’t do couple stuff –  It can be hard not fall into old habits when you’re hanging out with someone with whom you shared your most intimate secrets and were highly familiar with. When we see our exes, we want to hold their hands, put our arm around them, and even kiss them but this stuff is bad news. You’re returning to your old roles and that’s just confusing for both of you.

Avoid excess alcohol – Drinking is a good excuse for you and your ex to bang again, and if that happens, you will likely wake up in the morning with a massive headache thinking to yourself, “Why did I let this happen?” It’s alright to have one or two drinks, but you want to avoid getting completely hammered in order to resist the temptation of spilling your heart out and asking to get back together.

Our best advice to you about seeing your ex again is not having an expectations about how they feel or how the encounter is going to play out. Just be open to what happens, and accept absolutely that you broke up for a reason and that the relationship is over.