When we’re having a conversation with someone with the first time, there can be moments where our nerves or the newness of the situation can get the best of us. Depending on the person, and how responsive they are or how interested they are in the conversation, we can often find ourselves in the midst of the dreaded “awkward silence” where neither person has something to contribute towards the banter. How can you overcome this and fill the empty gaps?
Small talk
Ensure that you know something general about everything. This could be sports, news, or even music. Commenting on the weather is really your last resort, but if it must be done to break the silence then do it. The skill of small talking is an art, and you need to be approach in a way that makes it seem like you’re not trying to fill a hole. Talk about something pertinent to time and place. If you’re at a party, ask how this person knows the host. If you’re on the bus, asking them where they’re coming from or going to. Common sense questions can sometimes prompt more in-depth conversation. Just try it.
Avoid questions with “yes” or “no” answers
Think open ended questions when trying to make conversation. Good questions involve the words, “Do you think …” or “Who” “What” Why” “How” “Where”. A conversation stopper is when someone says, “Yeah” or just smiles. Be aware of what you’re saying, and ensuring it prompts further chatter.
Point out the awkwardness
This strategy is not recommended for super awkward people, but it’s good for those who a solid sense of humor. If there’s an awkward silence, you can just come out and say in a funny way, “Well, this is awkward.” It should prompt laughter, and calm both of you down because you’ve acknowledged the tenseness. Sometimes pointing out the silence can lead to entire conversation about silence – about how we feel uncomfortable when there’s nothing to say, but the funny reality is that the people we know best are the ones we have comfortable silences with.